I'm back to the land of the living. I don't think I've ever had the flu before. It was miserable. I would have chills with a fever, and oh my, the aching. It was awful. Ashlyn had it, too. Then, Daniel got an ear infection and just overall didn't feel good. Matt also got the flu, but he was in Georgia. I'm not sure how I dodged that bullet. If you've had to take care of your sick husband, I'm sure you know what I mean. There's nothing like being sick with a house full of sick kids and being stuck at home to make you appreciate those days you feel stuck at home. I thought I really needed a vacation to pull me out of that funk. I guess God did not see a vacation in my future, so He worked in another way. Whatevs, it worked. I went out with my sister and we laughed, and I went to church and we laughed there, too. I told Matt he better have a nice date planned for me, but it looks like another Saturday night at my mom's house watching Cops and eating popcorn. And I'm looking forward to it.
I have been resting and recouping. Sure I have a mountain of laundry, but it always gets done. So, my last week has consisted of sleeping, giving medicine, taking medicine, and culturing an unhealthy fear of Cloris Leachman in Ashlyn. We watched Hansel and Gretel on Netflix and she was the witch, and frankly, she was scary. I had to tell Ashlyn not to worry because it is just Cloris Leachman. Now Ashlyn is afraid of her and I can't even say her name.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Friday, January 14, 2011
Vanilla
I'm bored. I do the same thing every single day. The same things happen every day. Anything extra I do- play dates, mops, blah, blah, blah ( and mainly those blah blah blahs are because those are the only extra things I do)- are the exact same. Same people. Same conversations. Plus, I'm tired, which is probably the main problem. How do people let their babies cry it out? I've tried by accident, you know, like when I have to get up to go to the bathroom or I have to take care of Ashlyn, and he won't stop. So, I'm not asking how as in how could they, I'm asking how DO they.
Matt does not understand because he does something different every single day. Different things happen to him every day. He goes to different hotels, eats at different places, is in a different town, sees a million different people, and they talk about different things. Oh, and at the end of the day, he gets to do whatever he wants- IN THE QUIET- and he usually picks sleep. Not to mention, when he does sleep he doesn't feel like a mommy pig with a little nursling attached to him.
I love my life and I'm thankful for the many blessings I have. I love Matt and my kids and my friends and family. I'm just having major burn out I guess.
Matt does not understand because he does something different every single day. Different things happen to him every day. He goes to different hotels, eats at different places, is in a different town, sees a million different people, and they talk about different things. Oh, and at the end of the day, he gets to do whatever he wants- IN THE QUIET- and he usually picks sleep. Not to mention, when he does sleep he doesn't feel like a mommy pig with a little nursling attached to him.
I love my life and I'm thankful for the many blessings I have. I love Matt and my kids and my friends and family. I'm just having major burn out I guess.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
My Birth Story
It is a little difficult for me to start this birth story because it did not end the way I expected. First, I am so thankful for the pregnancy I had and the care I had and most importantly my beautiful, healthy baby. There should seriously be a cure for morning sickness though. It is 2010, let’s get on it people. I have SO much to be thankful for. I told about 2 people, but Daniel had a skip in his heartbeat the last week I was pregnant and he is totally healthy and fine. He is beautiful and sweet and perfect and I am head over heels in love with him. His entry into the world was not what I planned. My ideal thought was to push him into my hands and hold him immediately- to see him be born, to be the first one to touch him, for him to be born gently in our home around the people who love us and care about us. I’m sorry we didn’t have that and it will take me a little time to get over it.
I loved being pregnant this time around. The baby moved so much more than Ashlyn did and I felt really good and I felt taken care of. A really cool and scary thing about this pregnancy- I made the decisions. It was 100% up to me to take care of myself, make a healthy baby and get the baby out. I’m not meaning God is not in 100% control, but I think with Ashlyn I had the mindset that any problem that could possibly arise was not my problem and that the doctors would take care of it. I have never taken so many vitamins and supplements IN MY LIFE. I popped at least 10 pills every night. I think that has made all the difference in how I feel now after my surgery. One thing that was kind of bad is that I was taking a supplement that was good for helping your blood to clot and Daniel had to have his little foot poked like 3 million times for jaundice and blood sugar issues and they had a really hard time getting blood out of his foot. I will be here all night if I tell every detail. Every woman deserves a midwife. Debbie is a wonderful midwife. She 100% cared about me and my baby. She put her heart into my pregnancy from our first appointment when she was genuinely sorry that I had morning sickness to her making sure I stayed on the backseat of my car as Matt sped us to the hospital. I clearly remember hearing her voice only cheer me on as I was pushing in the hospital, even with so many other people in the room. She was totally invested in me getting my baby out, but still let me make the choices I needed to make. Not to mention the hour long prenatal visits, missing a REALLY cool family vacation because I went beyond 41 weeks, and so many other things to make sure we were her #1 priority. So, every woman deserves a midwife as long as she is a midwife like Debbie.
Ok, on to the actual birth story. On Sunday night, I started having contractions. They were pretty strong, but not painful or consistent. I had contractions like that for 2 weeks and they would stop, so I prayed and asked other people to pray that they would stick and be the real deal. Those prayers worked. I went to bed about midnight and didn’t sleep well. I got up about 2:00 and took a warm bath. I can’t remember how those contractions felt because the last ones are vividly stuck in my head. I sent Matt a text from the tub and said, “I think you better start waking up.” I got out of the tub and started a load of laundry and cleaned my house up a little. For some reason I really wanted Ramen noodles- something that hasn’t been permitted to be cooked in my house since last December. That was a bad idea, but it sounded PERFECT at the time. I got on my birthing ball and walked through contractions. I kept waiting to call people, but I didn’t want to wake everyone up because I knew it was going to be a long day. I finally decided to call at 5. My contractions would go from about 4 minutes apart to 2 minutes apart. I told Matt I hoped Debbie made it. I knew I still had a long way to go, but I was hoping it would pick up and happen that fast. Debbie told us to call her when I had 10 contractions and it didn’t take long to call. It was kind of empowering to know that I made it through 10 contractions and kind of freaky to compare that to how many I probably had to have. Charlea, Debbie’s apprentice, arrived first. Then, my mom and I think my sister then Debbie and Mary, another CPM. By this time, the contractions were pretty strong and I had to concentrate and really breathe through them. Somehow, from 2 in the morning until noon, when we left for the hospital, felt like 2 hours. It was hard not knowing how much longer it was going to last though. I think you should know how long you are going to have to be in labor so you can say, “I only have 2 more hours until I can push.” At some point I said I wanted to try the pool. Before, I wasn’t a fan of the pool. I’ve always thought they were kind of gross. I also wasn’t sure what I wanted to wear in the pool and I KNEW I wasn’t going to be naked in front of so many people. So, I got in the pool for a while and it was really nice and warm and relaxing. After I got out, I went to my bed and took a nap. After that everything is kind of blurry, but my mom took notes. It kept her busy! At one point I told her she didn’t have to write down every contraction. Haha! I remember contractions that were so much easier when I would stand up and hold on to Matt. He was like a pain reliever. There is nothing like holding onto your husband during labor. It was like his strength was magically transferred to my body. I eventually went back to the pool after my contractions got really strong and eventually I got totally naked in front of everyone. As if that wasn’t bad enough, I eventually got out of the pool and walked around my house the same way. I would nap off and on in the pool. Charlea would pour water on my back and sometimes someone would fan me. Ashlyn brought her stuffed dogs to the edge of the pool to watch. She was so good during the birth. She wasn’t scared or nervous. I knew she would do great, but there is always a chance she would get scared. I am SO proud of her. She is my best friend in the world and it was so awesome to have her there so calm. I remember during a contraction Debbie said, “Amber can do all things through Christ who gives her strength.” I remember telling myself, and apparently everyone else that just one day of this and I get a baby. I think I could still laugh and joke at that point. I got back into the pool around 10 and had a few contractions. I had felt like I was going to throw up for a while, but I knew it was coming and I welcomed it. I knew that was a sign of going into transition. Matt held the bucket for me- the worst part of his day. I kept trying to tell him I had it, but he was a trooper. I’m not sure what all happened after this. I was in the tub and it was getting pretty intense. I kept thinking that pain wasn’t really the word to describe the contractions. It was just REALLY INTENSE. I mean, it hurt, but it really was just a different sensation. The coolest thing was when my water broke. I was having a really hard contraction and it just didn’t seem to stop and then the water gushed out. Matt and I both got a little teary eyed. I’m not sure why. It was just another thing my body was supposed to do that it did right. There is just something amazing about God’s design for labor and seeing it play out normally.
This is the turning point in the story, as it was a turning point in the labor. We had a mutual agreement before labor that if the heart rate dipped to 110 or below, we would go to the hospital. I was just trying to get through contractions, so I didn’t realize the heart rate had dipped. I just kept telling the baby to come down and hurry. Debbie and Mary weren’t sure why it dipped so they tried to get me into several positions and try to get the baby down. I was a 9 ½ when his heart rate dipped. They were trying to get me to move to get his head in a better position to open that cervix the rest of the way and they let me push to see if I could move him. There was a cervical lip (the half part that would have made me complete if it would have moved) that wouldn’t budge and his heart rate dipped and we left. The very last thing you want to do when you are all but 10 cm is get in a car, especially when you know your husband is not going to follow the “transfer plan” and will drive like a crazy person. I will never again laugh at a movie scene where this is happening. It isn’t funny. On the way out of the house everyone was telling me they were sorry. I wasn’t sorry or sad- I didn’t want to go in the car. I’m only glad Matt drove like he did for one reason- maybe no one was able to see inside the car. Mary and Debbie wheeled me into L&D and it felt like there were 50 people in there ready for me and the baby. They were ready for me to deliver. I was in a lot of pain at this point so I’m just writing how I remember it. They were going through their instruments and I heard them say “episiotomy” and I said, “DON’T CUT ME! I will stretch!” I thought I said this as soon as I heard them say that, but Matt told me it was a while after. The first person that checked me said I was complete, but then they felt the little part of my cervix that wouldn’t get out of the way and it was swollen. I also didn’t know his heart rate was dipping, but I do remember hearing a skip a few times on the fetal monitor. At the hospital I pushed and pushed and he wouldn’t move down and that lip wouldn’t get out of the way. They tried to turn his head, they made me push as they pushed down on my pubic bone… we tried everything. They had me stop doing anything during contractions to try to give my cervix a rest and that didn’t help either and it was probably the worst part because I had to really relax and just take it- and I had tried all of this at home already. I’m not sure if I thought I couldn’t or I really couldn’t do it anymore at that point. It was deflating to see people gradually leave the room because it just wasn’t happening. I would ask if he was moving and he wasn’t. I pushed like normal, on my hands and knees, pulling on a towel to help me bear down… nothing. He was totally stuck on my pubic bone. Oh, and they gave me a mirror and I was glad I wasn’t at home on my bed for a second. I asked for an epidural, halfway joking because I didn’t think I could get one. They were surprised and said, “Do you want one?” I said, “Yes. I’m not trying to be a hero here.” They tried a few more positions of pushing and still nothing. I think at this point we were pretty sure I was going to have a c-section and I was ready. I got to the hospital at least by 1:30 and wasn’t taken back for a c-section until about 5, and the epidural never came by the way. I kept asking when the anesthesiologist was going to get there about every 2 seconds. I just wanted it to be over. My home birth was over, it was time for the pain to be over. It didn’t seem fair to have to labor when I wasn’t going to deliver my baby. When the anesthesiologist got there I had one more contraction while he was getting set up and I did everything they told me to do as fast as I could. Then, I felt my legs get tingly and everything go numb. Then, I told him he was my hero and best friend and that if I wasn’t married I would date him. I watched the door for Matt to come in and he had a camera. A disposable camera! I was so thankful. They started the section and I said, “Don’t say what the baby is. No one announce it. We want to see first.” Then, I just started praying for a healthy baby who cried right away. A few seconds later my prayer was answered. He cried, Matt stood up and said, “BOY!” I said what I did when I found out Ashlyn was a girl. “I knew it.” They started taking care of him right away but I couldn’t see him. The anesthesiologist must have heard me ask to see the baby because he told them to roll the cart over so I could see. They wrapped him up and brought him to me. Matt helped me hold him. He was beautiful and alert and looking all around. He just stared at me. I loved it. I asked Matt what the middle name was and he decided on Ematt. I had a feeling he would. I was so glad I got to see Daniel for a little while. I thought they would take him out of the room immediately. On the way to the scale I looked at him and guessed him to be 8lbs 8oz or so. I was SHOCKED when they said he was 9lbs 12oz! I did not think I was carrying a baby that big! He doesn’t look that big either.
I went to recovery and Matt and Daniel were waiting on me. I held Daniel for a while and then everyone came in. Ashlyn and my mom came in first. Mom asked if he was Daniel and I shook my head. Ashlyn made her mad Matt face and we just laughed. She really wanted a sister. She wasn’t happy for about 5 minutes and we tried and tried to get her to hold him. She finally did and as soon as she got her hands around him he sneezed. She laughed so hard and has been hooked since. She absolutely loves him and is so proud of him. Tonight, as she was saying her prayers she said, “Dear Jesus, thank you for my little brudder and for him sneezing and I got tickled and then I loved him.” She has been with my mom all week, so that’s why she said tickled. Haha! She held him tonight and I told her to let me know when she got tired of holding him. She said, “I will never get tired of holding him. I just keep loving him.” That just makes my world complete. And I think that is a good place to complete the story of Daniel’s entrance into the world.
I loved being pregnant this time around. The baby moved so much more than Ashlyn did and I felt really good and I felt taken care of. A really cool and scary thing about this pregnancy- I made the decisions. It was 100% up to me to take care of myself, make a healthy baby and get the baby out. I’m not meaning God is not in 100% control, but I think with Ashlyn I had the mindset that any problem that could possibly arise was not my problem and that the doctors would take care of it. I have never taken so many vitamins and supplements IN MY LIFE. I popped at least 10 pills every night. I think that has made all the difference in how I feel now after my surgery. One thing that was kind of bad is that I was taking a supplement that was good for helping your blood to clot and Daniel had to have his little foot poked like 3 million times for jaundice and blood sugar issues and they had a really hard time getting blood out of his foot. I will be here all night if I tell every detail. Every woman deserves a midwife. Debbie is a wonderful midwife. She 100% cared about me and my baby. She put her heart into my pregnancy from our first appointment when she was genuinely sorry that I had morning sickness to her making sure I stayed on the backseat of my car as Matt sped us to the hospital. I clearly remember hearing her voice only cheer me on as I was pushing in the hospital, even with so many other people in the room. She was totally invested in me getting my baby out, but still let me make the choices I needed to make. Not to mention the hour long prenatal visits, missing a REALLY cool family vacation because I went beyond 41 weeks, and so many other things to make sure we were her #1 priority. So, every woman deserves a midwife as long as she is a midwife like Debbie.
Ok, on to the actual birth story. On Sunday night, I started having contractions. They were pretty strong, but not painful or consistent. I had contractions like that for 2 weeks and they would stop, so I prayed and asked other people to pray that they would stick and be the real deal. Those prayers worked. I went to bed about midnight and didn’t sleep well. I got up about 2:00 and took a warm bath. I can’t remember how those contractions felt because the last ones are vividly stuck in my head. I sent Matt a text from the tub and said, “I think you better start waking up.” I got out of the tub and started a load of laundry and cleaned my house up a little. For some reason I really wanted Ramen noodles- something that hasn’t been permitted to be cooked in my house since last December. That was a bad idea, but it sounded PERFECT at the time. I got on my birthing ball and walked through contractions. I kept waiting to call people, but I didn’t want to wake everyone up because I knew it was going to be a long day. I finally decided to call at 5. My contractions would go from about 4 minutes apart to 2 minutes apart. I told Matt I hoped Debbie made it. I knew I still had a long way to go, but I was hoping it would pick up and happen that fast. Debbie told us to call her when I had 10 contractions and it didn’t take long to call. It was kind of empowering to know that I made it through 10 contractions and kind of freaky to compare that to how many I probably had to have. Charlea, Debbie’s apprentice, arrived first. Then, my mom and I think my sister then Debbie and Mary, another CPM. By this time, the contractions were pretty strong and I had to concentrate and really breathe through them. Somehow, from 2 in the morning until noon, when we left for the hospital, felt like 2 hours. It was hard not knowing how much longer it was going to last though. I think you should know how long you are going to have to be in labor so you can say, “I only have 2 more hours until I can push.” At some point I said I wanted to try the pool. Before, I wasn’t a fan of the pool. I’ve always thought they were kind of gross. I also wasn’t sure what I wanted to wear in the pool and I KNEW I wasn’t going to be naked in front of so many people. So, I got in the pool for a while and it was really nice and warm and relaxing. After I got out, I went to my bed and took a nap. After that everything is kind of blurry, but my mom took notes. It kept her busy! At one point I told her she didn’t have to write down every contraction. Haha! I remember contractions that were so much easier when I would stand up and hold on to Matt. He was like a pain reliever. There is nothing like holding onto your husband during labor. It was like his strength was magically transferred to my body. I eventually went back to the pool after my contractions got really strong and eventually I got totally naked in front of everyone. As if that wasn’t bad enough, I eventually got out of the pool and walked around my house the same way. I would nap off and on in the pool. Charlea would pour water on my back and sometimes someone would fan me. Ashlyn brought her stuffed dogs to the edge of the pool to watch. She was so good during the birth. She wasn’t scared or nervous. I knew she would do great, but there is always a chance she would get scared. I am SO proud of her. She is my best friend in the world and it was so awesome to have her there so calm. I remember during a contraction Debbie said, “Amber can do all things through Christ who gives her strength.” I remember telling myself, and apparently everyone else that just one day of this and I get a baby. I think I could still laugh and joke at that point. I got back into the pool around 10 and had a few contractions. I had felt like I was going to throw up for a while, but I knew it was coming and I welcomed it. I knew that was a sign of going into transition. Matt held the bucket for me- the worst part of his day. I kept trying to tell him I had it, but he was a trooper. I’m not sure what all happened after this. I was in the tub and it was getting pretty intense. I kept thinking that pain wasn’t really the word to describe the contractions. It was just REALLY INTENSE. I mean, it hurt, but it really was just a different sensation. The coolest thing was when my water broke. I was having a really hard contraction and it just didn’t seem to stop and then the water gushed out. Matt and I both got a little teary eyed. I’m not sure why. It was just another thing my body was supposed to do that it did right. There is just something amazing about God’s design for labor and seeing it play out normally.
This is the turning point in the story, as it was a turning point in the labor. We had a mutual agreement before labor that if the heart rate dipped to 110 or below, we would go to the hospital. I was just trying to get through contractions, so I didn’t realize the heart rate had dipped. I just kept telling the baby to come down and hurry. Debbie and Mary weren’t sure why it dipped so they tried to get me into several positions and try to get the baby down. I was a 9 ½ when his heart rate dipped. They were trying to get me to move to get his head in a better position to open that cervix the rest of the way and they let me push to see if I could move him. There was a cervical lip (the half part that would have made me complete if it would have moved) that wouldn’t budge and his heart rate dipped and we left. The very last thing you want to do when you are all but 10 cm is get in a car, especially when you know your husband is not going to follow the “transfer plan” and will drive like a crazy person. I will never again laugh at a movie scene where this is happening. It isn’t funny. On the way out of the house everyone was telling me they were sorry. I wasn’t sorry or sad- I didn’t want to go in the car. I’m only glad Matt drove like he did for one reason- maybe no one was able to see inside the car. Mary and Debbie wheeled me into L&D and it felt like there were 50 people in there ready for me and the baby. They were ready for me to deliver. I was in a lot of pain at this point so I’m just writing how I remember it. They were going through their instruments and I heard them say “episiotomy” and I said, “DON’T CUT ME! I will stretch!” I thought I said this as soon as I heard them say that, but Matt told me it was a while after. The first person that checked me said I was complete, but then they felt the little part of my cervix that wouldn’t get out of the way and it was swollen. I also didn’t know his heart rate was dipping, but I do remember hearing a skip a few times on the fetal monitor. At the hospital I pushed and pushed and he wouldn’t move down and that lip wouldn’t get out of the way. They tried to turn his head, they made me push as they pushed down on my pubic bone… we tried everything. They had me stop doing anything during contractions to try to give my cervix a rest and that didn’t help either and it was probably the worst part because I had to really relax and just take it- and I had tried all of this at home already. I’m not sure if I thought I couldn’t or I really couldn’t do it anymore at that point. It was deflating to see people gradually leave the room because it just wasn’t happening. I would ask if he was moving and he wasn’t. I pushed like normal, on my hands and knees, pulling on a towel to help me bear down… nothing. He was totally stuck on my pubic bone. Oh, and they gave me a mirror and I was glad I wasn’t at home on my bed for a second. I asked for an epidural, halfway joking because I didn’t think I could get one. They were surprised and said, “Do you want one?” I said, “Yes. I’m not trying to be a hero here.” They tried a few more positions of pushing and still nothing. I think at this point we were pretty sure I was going to have a c-section and I was ready. I got to the hospital at least by 1:30 and wasn’t taken back for a c-section until about 5, and the epidural never came by the way. I kept asking when the anesthesiologist was going to get there about every 2 seconds. I just wanted it to be over. My home birth was over, it was time for the pain to be over. It didn’t seem fair to have to labor when I wasn’t going to deliver my baby. When the anesthesiologist got there I had one more contraction while he was getting set up and I did everything they told me to do as fast as I could. Then, I felt my legs get tingly and everything go numb. Then, I told him he was my hero and best friend and that if I wasn’t married I would date him. I watched the door for Matt to come in and he had a camera. A disposable camera! I was so thankful. They started the section and I said, “Don’t say what the baby is. No one announce it. We want to see first.” Then, I just started praying for a healthy baby who cried right away. A few seconds later my prayer was answered. He cried, Matt stood up and said, “BOY!” I said what I did when I found out Ashlyn was a girl. “I knew it.” They started taking care of him right away but I couldn’t see him. The anesthesiologist must have heard me ask to see the baby because he told them to roll the cart over so I could see. They wrapped him up and brought him to me. Matt helped me hold him. He was beautiful and alert and looking all around. He just stared at me. I loved it. I asked Matt what the middle name was and he decided on Ematt. I had a feeling he would. I was so glad I got to see Daniel for a little while. I thought they would take him out of the room immediately. On the way to the scale I looked at him and guessed him to be 8lbs 8oz or so. I was SHOCKED when they said he was 9lbs 12oz! I did not think I was carrying a baby that big! He doesn’t look that big either.
I went to recovery and Matt and Daniel were waiting on me. I held Daniel for a while and then everyone came in. Ashlyn and my mom came in first. Mom asked if he was Daniel and I shook my head. Ashlyn made her mad Matt face and we just laughed. She really wanted a sister. She wasn’t happy for about 5 minutes and we tried and tried to get her to hold him. She finally did and as soon as she got her hands around him he sneezed. She laughed so hard and has been hooked since. She absolutely loves him and is so proud of him. Tonight, as she was saying her prayers she said, “Dear Jesus, thank you for my little brudder and for him sneezing and I got tickled and then I loved him.” She has been with my mom all week, so that’s why she said tickled. Haha! She held him tonight and I told her to let me know when she got tired of holding him. She said, “I will never get tired of holding him. I just keep loving him.” That just makes my world complete. And I think that is a good place to complete the story of Daniel’s entrance into the world.
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Out of the Mouth of My Babe
I've jotted things Ashlyn has said and done lately, so I'm just going to bullet them before I lose them.
*She regularly says "Losers Keepers" and she also says "regular" in such a weird way I can't decipher it. She says it to describe "regular milk" instead of chocolate, for example.
*Some mornings when I hear her talking to herself in the bathroom she'll say, "Oh! My hair is really big today."
*When I told her it was August first she go so excited and then said, "Is Debbie coming today?" I said, "No, not today." She said, "Uh, she has to get the baby out." Kind of like, "If the baby is coming, she better get here because I'm not doing it." I reassured her the baby wasn't coming on August 1st. She asks me everyday if it is August 20th.
*She said when the baby gets here she is getting ear plugs
*Just about every day we watch Wheel of Fortune or Jeopardy. She assigns a character to us. If Matt gets a puzzle right and the woman I was assigned wins she will say, "Good job, Mommy!" She also always picks the black person for herself. I started noticing it and wondered why but one day she said, "She has hair like me, except mine is gold." She loves being a Curly Girl. In fact, I saw a woman I go to church with in town the other day and we chatted for a bit. After she walked away Ashlyn said, "I love that girl. She has curly hair like me." :) If you have curly hair, you're ok with Ashlyn.
*Another time we were watching Wheel, which she also calls it Wheel like an old lady, and they advertised a really beautiful resort. She associates hotels with swimming pools and she freaked out and said, "A HOTEL!"
*Charlea, who is Debbie's apprentice, has been attending the last few prenatals. Charlea brings Anabele, her daughter and she nurses her. When we got home from one of the appointments Ashlyn came to show me she was nursing her baby doll. :) so sweet. Then, when I was in the bedroom I overhear Matt say, "Ashlyn, please don't do that. That's just... yeah. Please don't." I asked what she was doing and he said he "didn't even want to say." He came in the bedroom and said, "She said she's squirting milk at me." LOL I almost died laughing! She heard us laughing and came in the bedroom doing the weirdest thing (which is saying a lot) she does- nursing off of herself. It is what it is. odd. disturbing. funny.
*She talks to herself and her "friends" all the time. This incident was extra odd though. She says,
"Shannah, I mean Simba, my legs are getting really long. Sorry, Simba, I called you Shannah. Uh! No, Shannah, I was talking to Simba." I guess Shannah did not understand the misunderstanding.
*Ok, my last story. This was the most disturbing thing I ever thought would come out of a 3 year old's mouth. I have no idea how her little mind processed this, but it was creepy.
We were driving home and I had new sunglasses. I was trying to put them on Matt, but I was just annoying him. He said, "STOP. geez. That's annoying. I'm gonna kill you."
Ashlyn: You do not kill Mommy.
Matt: I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. I would never hurt mommy. I love her.
Ashlyn: If you kill mommy, I will kill you. And then, I will kill myself so I can be with both of you forever.
WHAT???? She almost killed both of us with laughter.
*She regularly says "Losers Keepers" and she also says "regular" in such a weird way I can't decipher it. She says it to describe "regular milk" instead of chocolate, for example.
*Some mornings when I hear her talking to herself in the bathroom she'll say, "Oh! My hair is really big today."
*When I told her it was August first she go so excited and then said, "Is Debbie coming today?" I said, "No, not today." She said, "Uh, she has to get the baby out." Kind of like, "If the baby is coming, she better get here because I'm not doing it." I reassured her the baby wasn't coming on August 1st. She asks me everyday if it is August 20th.
*She said when the baby gets here she is getting ear plugs
*Just about every day we watch Wheel of Fortune or Jeopardy. She assigns a character to us. If Matt gets a puzzle right and the woman I was assigned wins she will say, "Good job, Mommy!" She also always picks the black person for herself. I started noticing it and wondered why but one day she said, "She has hair like me, except mine is gold." She loves being a Curly Girl. In fact, I saw a woman I go to church with in town the other day and we chatted for a bit. After she walked away Ashlyn said, "I love that girl. She has curly hair like me." :) If you have curly hair, you're ok with Ashlyn.
*Another time we were watching Wheel, which she also calls it Wheel like an old lady, and they advertised a really beautiful resort. She associates hotels with swimming pools and she freaked out and said, "A HOTEL!"
*Charlea, who is Debbie's apprentice, has been attending the last few prenatals. Charlea brings Anabele, her daughter and she nurses her. When we got home from one of the appointments Ashlyn came to show me she was nursing her baby doll. :) so sweet. Then, when I was in the bedroom I overhear Matt say, "Ashlyn, please don't do that. That's just... yeah. Please don't." I asked what she was doing and he said he "didn't even want to say." He came in the bedroom and said, "She said she's squirting milk at me." LOL I almost died laughing! She heard us laughing and came in the bedroom doing the weirdest thing (which is saying a lot) she does- nursing off of herself. It is what it is. odd. disturbing. funny.
*She talks to herself and her "friends" all the time. This incident was extra odd though. She says,
"Shannah, I mean Simba, my legs are getting really long. Sorry, Simba, I called you Shannah. Uh! No, Shannah, I was talking to Simba." I guess Shannah did not understand the misunderstanding.
*Ok, my last story. This was the most disturbing thing I ever thought would come out of a 3 year old's mouth. I have no idea how her little mind processed this, but it was creepy.
We were driving home and I had new sunglasses. I was trying to put them on Matt, but I was just annoying him. He said, "STOP. geez. That's annoying. I'm gonna kill you."
Ashlyn: You do not kill Mommy.
Matt: I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. I would never hurt mommy. I love her.
Ashlyn: If you kill mommy, I will kill you. And then, I will kill myself so I can be with both of you forever.
WHAT???? She almost killed both of us with laughter.
Saturday, July 31, 2010
AUGUST IS HERE
I'm having a baby this month. I've waited for August since December. I'm freaking out at how fast this pregnancy has gone by.
I just had a freak out moment and I'm sure if I called Matt he would snore into the phone. I had a freak out moment right after our home visit and he calmed me down then. Somehow, the husband that said I reminded him of a walrus and meant it as a loving compliment because "they have cute eyes" calmed me down with the most empowering and encouraging words. I keep playing them over and over in my head. "I saw you have a baby in the hospital and if you were that strong there, I know you'll do great at home. You don't want someone telling you you can't have anything to eat or drink and who doesn't care how you are. You don't want to be strapped to a bed. You don't want 100 other people holding the baby before you do. This is going to be great. You are going to be great. Don't worry about it. I know you can do it. I'll be there. Your mom will be there. Debbie will be there. And we'll all take care of you and we all know you are going to do great." Walrus Eyes told me that. It was pretty perfect and true.
So, yeah, I'm not gonna freak out.
I just had a freak out moment and I'm sure if I called Matt he would snore into the phone. I had a freak out moment right after our home visit and he calmed me down then. Somehow, the husband that said I reminded him of a walrus and meant it as a loving compliment because "they have cute eyes" calmed me down with the most empowering and encouraging words. I keep playing them over and over in my head. "I saw you have a baby in the hospital and if you were that strong there, I know you'll do great at home. You don't want someone telling you you can't have anything to eat or drink and who doesn't care how you are. You don't want to be strapped to a bed. You don't want 100 other people holding the baby before you do. This is going to be great. You are going to be great. Don't worry about it. I know you can do it. I'll be there. Your mom will be there. Debbie will be there. And we'll all take care of you and we all know you are going to do great." Walrus Eyes told me that. It was pretty perfect and true.
So, yeah, I'm not gonna freak out.
good day
Today, I had a wonderful day with some gal from high school. :) So sweet of them to come to Springfield for a visit. They bought my lunch and my pedicure. I'm so glad I buy adorable thank you notes. We ate at Cheddar's and after the pedicures went and got some coffee at Hebrews and chatted. I realized today that everytime someone asks me if I remember something I did or said I get SUPER nervous. Because, no. I don't remember. It is usually something humiliating that didn't go to my brain before it flew out of my mouth, therefore there is no way to remember saying or doing it. I was really glad my friend Lesley reminded me of something I said today because it was pretty hilarious. I'm sure I'll forget it again, so I'm going to blog it so I can come back someday and read it again and laugh. Our senior year she had a crush on this guy, but he was dating an 8th or 9th grader, quite the age difference. Apparently, one day in class someone (and I think it was Karla) asked him on a scale of 1-10 how cute his girlfriend was. So, I said, "On a scale of 1-10, how old is she?" LOL Probably the funniest thing I've ever said in my life.
I'm so thankful I have my mom close to watch Ashlyn. It is nice to leave your kid and be able to enjoy your time without worrying. Thanks Maw, even though you don't read this.
After the girl's day, I went to my mom's and ate dinner. It is my sister's and her hubby's anniversary, so mom had all the kids. We took them to the park and there were a few kids there that were playing kind of rough. One kid had his little cousin in a headlock and Jacob went up to him and told him to leave him alone. I was pretty proud of him. He handled it well. The big kid was just playing, so it wasn't a real situation thankfully. Nice to know he stood up for someone else. :)
Funny Ashlyn things:
- She has been around a pregnant woman too long. She has said, "I laughed so hard I peed in my pants" and she has complained of a heartburn and that she "can't get comfortable."
- I witnessed her having a blonde moment. There has been a little spider web across her old slide and the other day she noticed it was gone. I wish I could describe her face because it would just make this 1000X funnier. She said, "Hey, that spider wib is gone. Uh, yeah, that wib isn't here. She took her, uh, woob down. I'm sorry. My voice is just not working right now." I could tell by her face she just couldn't think of "web" for the life of her. I tried to get her to think of it and her face light up and was like, "Web!" UH! I knew that!
- When I told Matt the woob story she was sitting by me and I made the mistake of calling the spider a him. She said, "No, mom. I said 'SHE took her web down.'" pardon me. I'm glad I at least got it right in the blog.
I'm so thankful I have my mom close to watch Ashlyn. It is nice to leave your kid and be able to enjoy your time without worrying. Thanks Maw, even though you don't read this.
After the girl's day, I went to my mom's and ate dinner. It is my sister's and her hubby's anniversary, so mom had all the kids. We took them to the park and there were a few kids there that were playing kind of rough. One kid had his little cousin in a headlock and Jacob went up to him and told him to leave him alone. I was pretty proud of him. He handled it well. The big kid was just playing, so it wasn't a real situation thankfully. Nice to know he stood up for someone else. :)
Funny Ashlyn things:
- She has been around a pregnant woman too long. She has said, "I laughed so hard I peed in my pants" and she has complained of a heartburn and that she "can't get comfortable."
- I witnessed her having a blonde moment. There has been a little spider web across her old slide and the other day she noticed it was gone. I wish I could describe her face because it would just make this 1000X funnier. She said, "Hey, that spider wib is gone. Uh, yeah, that wib isn't here. She took her, uh, woob down. I'm sorry. My voice is just not working right now." I could tell by her face she just couldn't think of "web" for the life of her. I tried to get her to think of it and her face light up and was like, "Web!" UH! I knew that!
- When I told Matt the woob story she was sitting by me and I made the mistake of calling the spider a him. She said, "No, mom. I said 'SHE took her web down.'" pardon me. I'm glad I at least got it right in the blog.
Friday, July 30, 2010
We had a nice little vacation at the beginning of the week. Our goal, which we easily accomplished, was to relax and spoil Ashlyn for a few days for one last hoorah before the baby arrives. We went to Branson and spent a few Days at the Grand Country Inn. Ashlyn had a blast at their water park. She didn’t want to leave. After I got back home, I realized I didn’t want to leave either. It was so nice to get into the water and cool off. Ashlyn took her swimming doll. I bought it for her a few years ago and she was terrified of it! This was the first time since then the doll has been in water. 
I was really looking forward to the lazy river they have, but that didn’t turn out so hot for me. When I got in the tube I couldn’t get out. Matt had to flip me over. I tried once to get out on my own, but I slipped back in and was pretty much stuck after that. It was not one of my best moments. The last morning we were there we took Ashlyn to see the Amazing Pets show. She loved it! They had a little microphone set up and a little poodle walked out on his hind legs and they made it look like he was talking. Ashlyn cracked up at that (it was one of my favorite parts, too) and said, “That dog is like Martha!” 
Also, she called this a dinosaur angel. LOL 
In other exciting news this week, I bought a new bra. Ashlyn LOVES looking at bras. I should have worn a depends because she was hilarious the whole time. After looking around for a little while trying to find my size (because when you wear my bra size you don’t look for style or color) she spotted one. She excitedly ran across an aisle to one of the biggest bras and said, “LOOK MOM!!! I found one! This looks big like your boobs!” I almost died laughing, especially when she was right. The dressing room was another adventure. She loudly asked me why I had a fat belly and fat boobs. She tried on my bra and announced that she had a bra on and then asked me if she could have it for dress up since I was getting a new one. I said, “Uh, I don’t think so.” Then, she says, “It will just be for me and Cristina.” “Double no, Ashlyn.” After I paid and we were walking out she flips out and says, “MOM! Come back here! I HAVE to show you something!” I was expecting it to be Hello Kitty pajamas, but my 3 year old child was caressing and squeezing the padding of a pretty red bra. I said, “Wow! That’s pretty.” And she goes, “Yeah, but it is NOT your size.” Jnope. After that, we rode the escalators for a while, splashed in the puddles on the way to the car, and took a nap in the driveway when we got home.
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