Out of the Mouth of My Babe

I've jotted things Ashlyn has said and done lately, so I'm just going to bullet them before I lose them.
*She regularly says "Losers Keepers" and she also says "regular" in such a weird way I can't decipher it. She says it to describe "regular milk" instead of chocolate, for example.
*Some mornings when I hear her talking to herself in the bathroom she'll say, "Oh! My hair is really big today."
*When I told her it was August first she go so excited and then said, "Is Debbie coming today?" I said, "No, not today." She said, "Uh, she has to get the baby out." Kind of like, "If the baby is coming, she better get here because I'm not doing it." I reassured her the baby wasn't coming on August 1st. She asks me everyday if it is August 20th.
*She said when the baby gets here she is getting ear plugs
*Just about every day we watch Wheel of Fortune or Jeopardy. She assigns a character to us. If Matt gets a puzzle right and the woman I was assigned wins she will say, "Good job, Mommy!" She also always picks the black person for herself. I started noticing it and wondered why but one day she said, "She has hair like me, except mine is gold." She loves being a Curly Girl. In fact, I saw a woman I go to church with in town the other day and we chatted for a bit. After she walked away Ashlyn said, "I love that girl. She has curly hair like me." :) If you have curly hair, you're ok with Ashlyn.
*Another time we were watching Wheel, which she also calls it Wheel like an old lady, and they advertised a really beautiful resort. She associates hotels with swimming pools and she freaked out and said, "A HOTEL!"
*Charlea, who is Debbie's apprentice, has been attending the last few prenatals. Charlea brings Anabele, her daughter and she nurses her. When we got home from one of the appointments Ashlyn came to show me she was nursing her baby doll. :) so sweet. Then, when I was in the bedroom I overhear Matt say, "Ashlyn, please don't do that. That's just... yeah. Please don't." I asked what she was doing and he said he "didn't even want to say." He came in the bedroom and said, "She said she's squirting milk at me." LOL I almost died laughing! She heard us laughing and came in the bedroom doing the weirdest thing (which is saying a lot) she does- nursing off of herself. It is what it is. odd. disturbing. funny.
*She talks to herself and her "friends" all the time. This incident was extra odd though. She says,
"Shannah, I mean Simba, my legs are getting really long. Sorry, Simba, I called you Shannah. Uh! No, Shannah, I was talking to Simba." I guess Shannah did not understand the misunderstanding.
*Ok, my last story. This was the most disturbing thing I ever thought would come out of a 3 year old's mouth. I have no idea how her little mind processed this, but it was creepy.
We were driving home and I had new sunglasses. I was trying to put them on Matt, but I was just annoying him. He said, "STOP. geez. That's annoying. I'm gonna kill you."
Ashlyn: You do not kill Mommy.
Matt: I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. I would never hurt mommy. I love her.
Ashlyn: If you kill mommy, I will kill you. And then, I will kill myself so I can be with both of you forever.
WHAT???? She almost killed both of us with laughter.